Healing from Grief: My Journey to Rediscover Joy

Welcome to my blog, where I share my personal journey through grief and the methods I discovered to heal and reclaim joy.

My name is Denise Dielwart, and I lost my husband Maarten in 2009, when I was just 51. At the time, our kids had left home — we even had eight beautiful grandchildren — and we’d built our forever home.

We both worked from home and spent our afternoons sitting around the pool with a glass of wine or a beer, chatting about the rest of our lives.

We thought we had time.

And then, a sudden blood clot claimed Maarten. With no warning, no chance to say goodbye, he was gone. I was all alone.

The Immediate Aftermath of Loss

Truthfully, I don’t remember much about those first few weeks except that it’s like being outside of your own body, watching yourself go through the motions.

You know you’re breathing, even when you don’t understand how. You’re underwater, everything is in slow motion, and you can’t handle even the simplest tasks.

My children and friends were worried about me. “You need help,” I heard, again and again. They encouraged me to join a support group, to sit with other widows, to hear their stories of loss and pain. That only made me feel worse.

Seeking Professional Help

I went to see a psychologist. Every week, she’d ask me how I was. Every week I would talk about what I was thinking and feeling. And at the end of every session, she’d tell me, “All right. I’ll see you next week.”

After six months, I asked her, “When will I start to feel better?”

She looked at me in surprise and said, “Denise. You’re grieving. You’re going to feel like this for the next five to seven years.”

Choosing a Different Path

That was the moment something inside me snapped. No way, I said to myself.

There is no way I’m going to be stuck in this dark, sad place for five to seven years.

I started doing my own research and enrolled in a psychology coaching degree in Melbourne Australia, and for the first time in months I was thinking clearly.

It was an intensive program that included NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), human behavior and dynamics, physiology and psychology, and more. And as I learned, I applied what I was learning to myself.

Rediscovering Joy

Six months into my journey, I had my first real belly laugh since Maarten had died. It was a shock to my system to suddenly rediscover joy. Because joy is different from happiness. Joy comes from within, and it’s buried deep inside you when you lose your partner.

But it’s there. You will feel joy again. I promise you.

Moving Forward Together

If you want to have more belly laughs or maybe even have your very first belly laugh, let’s talk. I can help you move forward and beyond your grief and pain.

Contact Me for Support

Feel free to reach out if you're interested in learning more about my FLOW Grief Release Method. Together, we can navigate this journey and find your path to healing.

Simply click here for my diary link and schedule your free grief breakthrough call with me and let's map out how.

With love

Denise